Monday Morning Chaos

Morning times around here have become chaotic.  Here's a brief time log of what a typical morning in this house is like

7 am   - wake up and listen to silence for 5 minutes
7.05 - silence broken by one of the kids getting up or gurgling
7.06 - woken child enters bedroom and proceeds to demand ipad
7.07 - child evicted from bedroom
7.08 - I consider getting up anyway as there is no chance of any extra sleep
7.09 - attach baby to body either for cuddles or feeds
7.10 - walk around house with baby attached, whilst kid demands breakfast or ipad
7.11 - release the animals (this involves opening front door for cat exchange - 1 comes in and 1 goes out, kitten let out of living room and dog out of his crate)
7.11.10 ( note that 10 seconds later mayhem commences) - try to separate dog from cats, cats from cats, cats from dining table, kittens from the baby bouncer, whilst trying to replace water in water bowls, feed cats, and having baby still attached to me
7.13 - sit baby in bouncer and commence making breakfast for kids and a LARGE coffee for myself
7.14 - tell dog to get downstairs
7.15 - fetch the washing from the basket, whilst remove cats from dining table again
7.16 - actually load the washing machine, yell at dog to stop chasing cats
7.17 - finish loading washing machine, throw powder and conditioner into machine and turn it on
7.18 - tell dog to get downstairs
7.19 - return to making breakfast, remove cat from kitchen worktop
7.20 - give breakfast to kid
7.21 - try to get dressed
7.22 - tell dog to get downstairs
7.23 - remove cats from dining table
7.24 - tell dog to get downstairs
7.25 - tell kid to eat their breakfast
7.26 - try to get dressed again
7.27 - still trying to find clothes
7.28 - find something that resembles clothing - though the knickers that now have large holes in them vaguely resemble clothing!
7.29 - finish dressing
7.30 - tell dog to get downstairs
7.31 - slap on some moisturiser
7.32 - make it downstairs fully dressed
7.33 - feed baby again
7.34 - try to drink coffee
7.35 - remove cats from dining table
7.36 - laugh at kitten trying to play with baby-bouncer seat toys
7.37 - remove kitten from babybouncer seat
7.38 - tell dog off for trying to scrounge food at dining table
7.39 - tell kid to sit down eat breakfast
7.40 - tell dog to get downstairs
7.41 - remove kitten from bouncy chair and replace with baby
7.42 - drink coffee
7.43 - rock baby to sleep
7.47 - spend some time training the dog
7.48 - dog training
7.49 - trying to persist with dog training
7.50 - pick up dog poo
7.51 - instruct kid to finish breakfast
7.52 - ask kid to get dressed
7.53 - kids loses battle and stomps upstairs
7.54 - rock baby to sleep
7.55  - remove kitten from table
7.56 - tell dog to get downstairs
7.57 - finish cold coffee
7.58 - yell at dog for sneaking upstairs and eating the cat food
7.59 - kid arrives downstairs dressed and is sent upstairs again to brush teeth and hair
8.00 - rock baby to sleep
8.01 - washing machine finished  so I load the basket and go and hang it up
8.02 - try to hang washing up whilst dog tries to steal the pegs
8.03 - chases dog around garden to retrieve now half eaten peg
8.04 - tries to continue hanging up washing
8.05 - with one foot on the peg bag I try to hang  out washing
8.06 - throws balls around garden to distract dog from stealing the pegs
8.07 - finish hanging washing out